the orphanage directed called just minutes before we arrived. phoebe was at the gate waving as we pulled in. everyone recognized her. she ran after the van. it was absolutely priceless.
our first hug. the nanny forced her on me practically but she warmed up quickly (painting her fingernails helped :)
making it official...
the giving and receiving ceremony
her room. it was very small and very sad.
all the kids were zonked most of the 2.5 hour drive back.
hair bows bigger than the hair!
everything still going so very good. she feeds me, tells me she loves me, hugs and kisses.
need advice from some of you who have 'been there, done that.' this morning, as we left to go to the passport office, we were waiting in front of the hotel. everything was fine until the van pulled up. a van that looked just like the one we took to the orphanage. she started weeping and pulling me back to the hotel. it was very sad. and then a little later, it happened again when the van came to pick us up at immigration. and then we left to go for a walk and she lost it crying. didn't want to leave the hotel room. so afraid of going back to the orphanage. and tomorrow morning, we are to go do the medicals and i'm sure it will happen again.
so -- do we just quickly push through it and let her see over time that she isn't leaving me or stay in the room as much as we can? thoughts?
xoxoxo, jan :)
Phoebe is absolutely adorable! The whole thing tugs at my heart. I'll continue to pray for you and I'll pray that Phoebe has the peace and understanding that she will never go back to the orphanage. Take Care. -Karen
ReplyDeleteWow, what a gorgeous little girl!
ReplyDeleteNo doubt she is terrified that this is too good to be true. I think it will just take time for her to see the pattern of no matter who comes & goes, SHE is STAYING with YOU!! There may be a language barrier but God can speak to her and give her security & peace. I will continue to pray.
Love you,
Lori
She is so beautiful!!!Praise the Lord she is in your arms. We will pray for her peace and understanding that you are not going to leave her. We cannot wait to meet her. Give her a kiss for us. Miss you soooo much.
ReplyDeleteLove, Jeff, Amy, Ben, Andrew and Bethany
I'm sure you've already done this but just keep reassuring her and have someone at the hotel explain to her as many times - daily? -in Vietnamese that she is NEVER going back to that orphanage, that the van is only for errands that make it possible for her to be with you forever. You are so fortunate, some parents experienced the opposite with older children wanting to go back to a nanny. She sounds wonderful! She is absolutely beautiful too. So very happy for you!
ReplyDeleteWords can't describe the joy in my heart for you!!!! How beautiful are those pictures. My prayers continue with you and especially Phoebe as this is I'm sure hard to totally understand.
ReplyDeleteLove you and can't wait to see you guys in the states!!!! love, suz
So happy for you. what a blessing!
ReplyDeleteask your guide to explain things to her. I would say hold her as in , carry her. everywhere.
the more you go in the van as the appts go ect. she may become less anxious b/c of the routine of going in van and coming back to hotel with you.
praying for her heart.
do you happen to have a photo of you home so your guide can tell her that is where she is going with you.. and the plane ride :) just a thought.
Her pictures are as adorable as she is in person! Her fear of the van is very normal for a child her age. I know it's hard to see her cry in fear at times like that, but just be reminded that it is another wonderful opportunity for you to prove your love and care for her again. I believe the bond between the two of you will be even stronger as she faces these kinds of things and discovers that you will be there for her every time!
ReplyDeleteWe love you and are praying for you.
-Pete Frank
Jan,
ReplyDeletePhoebe is precious!! Praying that God will reassure her heart that she never has to "go Back".
Blessings,
Jen
jan! wow she is absolutley perfect! i love her already! can't wait until you get home !! may god bless you in many ways
ReplyDelete~ anna ~
Jan, she is more beautiful, if that is possible...Thank God you have her and are protecting her.. I pray all goes well for you and hope that you have many tips for me when it is time to get Addison.....So thakful to have met you on this journey
ReplyDeleteall my love,
Jennifer
Wonderful pictures!! I agree with all the other advice regarding the van . . . getting someone to tell her, in Vietnamese, that the van is NOT taking her back. And perhaps if you can find someone to tell her that, they can teach you a comfort word or two that you can say to her yourself. Hang in there! Can't wait to hear more . . . can't wait to experience what you're experiencing!!
ReplyDeleteWow- she is beautiful! What a blessing to finally have her in your arms! I am so happy for all of you! Sarah was also scared to death to return to the orphanage- she hid behind us and cried.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey!
Blessings,
Jean (sarah grace)
When we went for Isaiah we found out what the words "forever family" are in Chinese...(way-jah)...so from moments after getting him we started saying Way-Jah and pointing to each of us (Dw, me, Em, Gray, and Liberty) and of course Isaiah. He seemed immediately to understand what we were saying.
ReplyDeleteWith Elijah and ELizabeth being even younger I laminated pictures of our home and took them with me and family pictures and told them over and over and over that we were family FOREVER!!! and I always say FOREVER louder...they seemed to understand in no time.
When we were with Isaiah we would point to others and shake our heads "no" and say "no way-jah" (meaning they're not with us or going with us)...we are way-jah and they are not...it really seemed to help a ton. Before long HE would point to others and say, "No way-jah"...and we would assure him that he was right.
I think reassuring her over and over that you are family - that's the ticket...and showing her any pictures that you have of the rest of your kids and hubby.
Praying, Linn xo
This is amazing!! The pictures of you and Phoebe brought tears to my eyes (I know hard to imagine:))) We are excited to meet her. Praying you will continue to be safe. Tell Martha, Thomas and Phoebe we said hello:) Love ya guys. See ya soon!
ReplyDelete- Lori
Hi Jan,
ReplyDeleteJust keep encouraging her and hugging her and praising her. I just kept doing that with Rebecca. It really is very sad and as a mom, you don't want to see your child sad...it is such a grieving process for both mom and child...child that she had to go through something that only God knows the reason and mom that your child went through something you had no control over. Just remember, you have control now so life will be different for Phoebe from now on. That is the wonder of it. God answered your prayers and even though it took a while for you to find your daughter, you did find your daughter. Just keep hugging Phoebe. I was an emotional wreck with Rebecca in that I really grieved that it took over 5 years before my daughter had a family and she had to go through fears and sadness without me. Take care,
Love, Wendy